Because men do

Kind eyes
That smoked as they settled on yours
Eyes that glistened with tears,
Tears that did not know how to fall
A past that would have you struck and sore,
As a child he was torn from home, from breast, he fled from war
Just the mere thought of it
One that rocked
And chocked him when asked of
He’d dismiss you
And your questions about the details
Saying
No
To the prying eyes
You,
Not even you
I trust, will see me weak
You
You, I will not cry in front of
He said
I won’t let you see me in that state
I pressed him again
“Why?”
He said
“Because,
“Because men to do not cry”

I sit and wonder now
Why is crying seen as feminine
Why is that?
Do you men not have tear ducks like us women?
Do you never feel the welling up and the chocking on emotion?

We say we don’t want our men cold and hard
But when they do show emotions
We stand with knifes to their crotches
And society has us reciting these terms and conditions
We question their masculinity
“It hangs on literally , upon bringing in of the bread or the lack there of
We poke fun, in hard times
“Because only female can ever be sensitive”
And and even after it has seeped in
Into all our tongues and traditions
And now?
Now, it is an epidemic

Fathers that didn’t show affection
To their spouses, to their daughters, to their sons
They were once boys that were brought up with that very same system of thought
They were taught
By culture, by society, by women in some cases
And they live by this
Why do we link crying and weakness?
I ask you all
Why we link crying and weakness?
And the story goes on
As the women folk wail
They say
In times of grief
They say
And to no avail the men are found bottling, what is felt
trying to hold it in stiffly,
Those broad shoulders,
The men brace the stinging liquid
They let it settle in their eyes
Waiting until it does pass
Until the stinging seizes
Because he is strength and not human
Because he must carry your weight too and not even flinch
Because he is a man
Because men do not cry

I tell you
There is more strength in dealing with ones feeling
Without shyness of them
It is ours
It is natural
We learnt that
The filling of bottles helped no one

Do we teach our sons
Do we teach our sons
That?
Do we really want to teach our sons that
Men do not cry?

-Written By Aisha Mohammed *Aisha MD*

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