I am not sunny


Liquid snail trails transparent on my skin

Sometimes it erupts and flees
Other times, it makes me seize, to see

I feel it draw maps on my face; it may be transparent after it all dries
Other eyes
Would/Could see nothing
But you,
You, see the lines and trace them over with your fingers
You met me crying
You met me with same weepy almond eyes I have right now
You met me fighting,

I leaned on you as if I had physical injuries
You watched over me
Bright with curiosity, and intrigue
Your fiery eyes delved into me
I am paranoid
You stared like you know what I am thinking
Eyes are a pool
I’m swimming
I’m sinking
Right now I’m blinking
Back the liquid

You bring about peace in my mind
I slip away from this sheer water
You woke me up at land, telling me softly to deal with the problems at hand
And I see unfamiliar things
And I am expected to be two adults to my kin
I am somebody’s daughter
I am a mind away from body
My brown eyes only know the soggy, heaps
Of the grey bricked streets
I retreat, into myself
I am not sunny

You listen, I talk
I talk
I talk
I talk
And you listen
You always listened
Until I found laughter there
Next to you
Until I found I would even challenge your stares
I would hold my eyes, on yours
And we would say nothing

We would share jokes
After daylight hours
You would call me for meaningless things
I’d hear you asking
On the other line, “Hey, crazy Somali woman, is it raining where you are?”
“Am I a weather-woman to know if there are to be any predicted showers?”

Then you knew me laughing
With bright eyes
You called them bright
I’ll take your word for it

Eyes are a pool
I’m swimming
I’m sinking
Right now I’m blinking
Back the liquid
I feel so full of love

We see ourselves slipping, on each other
And I saw myself besides you
And I smiled
I needed the sun to be wild
I am blossoming

Written By Aisha Mohammed

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